I’m uploading pics of my new tattoo in the background, but since I’m on dial-up out here in the sticks, it’ll take forEVer. And yes that is my ass crack, thank you. (If you’ve never had a tattoo: the reason it looks like this is that it’s new, which means it’s still a little swollen, and it’s shiny because one keeps a new tattoo covered in ointment for a week or so, so that the skin doesn’t dry out and scab off. The tattoo above the new one is several years old.)

I slept more than five hours in a row last night, which speaks volumes for how fatigued I was after our whirlwind Chicago trip. Yay! And my GOD I had so much fun. Have I mentioned how much fun I had?!? I HAD SO MUCH FUN!

Today we took the eBay guy’s new toy to ABF to ship it, by way of 1-Stop rental for a box and some bailing wire, but they weren’t open yet. After a call to determine they’d remain not open for more than an hour, we came home and had a nooner (it was actually about one, but Mr. Brett insisted on calling it a nooner anyway) and then I took a nap.

UNTIL SIX.

IN THE EVENING.

Brett had gone out to mow the lawn and failed to notice that I hadn’t gotten up, and he totally laughed at me when I wandered into the living room at SIX P-fucking-M looking all touseled.

I called ABF and they were still open, so we drove back into town and dropped off the pallet, which proved to be rather fun in a redneck way, and then hit the Dairy Bar for malts. And Mr. Brett had a chili dog, which I enjoyed watching him eat almost as much as he obviously enjoyed eating it. “Only thing that would make this better is if it was a foot-long,” he pronounced afterward.

Then we hit Wal-Mart for canning lids and twelve pounds of salt and came home.

The canning lids were because Brett wanted (me) to pickle some asparagus, and the salt was for the asparagus patch. Aparently some old farmer dude told Brett in a bar recently that salt will kill grass and weeds but doesn’t harm asparagus, and since our asparagus patch looks more like lawn than garden he’s been wanting to give this salt approach a try.

There wasn’t all that much asparagus to pick this evening, so we only did a couple quarts, but I put four asian red hot chilis in each jar along with many cloves of garlic, so this batch should be hot as hell. My previous batches (here’s my first foray in pictures; but I’m much more legit now and I have a big canning pot and everything) were yummy but not particularly hot, and Brett wants some that is, to quote his redneck self, “so hot you need two assholes”-hot.

Now, if our VCR is actually still cabled to the entertainment center, I intend to go downstairs and so something I rarely do: commandeer the glass teat and watch something. On purpose. I’m rather in the mood to see Contact, a movie I adore, and I just happen to have it on video. Hopefully those tatt pics will finish uploading eventually.