Brett bought himself a ’98 Dodge Ram V10 last Friday.

Somehow he got Sean over at Central Valley to write him a loan (even with his non-existent credit), and we drove to Burlington to Deery Auto Outlet and we left with a new truck.

I’ve literally never seen my husband so unutterably happy! He was so excited he couldn’t eat his dinner, which was steak gorgonzola!

He spent most of the weekend showing people his new truck. Saturday we drove to Pella to show his sister (and to see her in her pregnant state; she’s due next month and we haven’t even seen her since she got knocked up). On the drive back home from Pella Saturday night, we hit a buck.

This is how it went: We were driving down a 4-lane. Neither of us saw a single thing. Then there was a sharp bump, as if we’d driven over a large brick in the road. The truck didn’t even swerve, I swear to God. Brett pulled over immediately – we’d been going about 70 – and got out.

A moment later, he re-opened his door and said, “I’ve just wrecked my truck.” Then he closed the door and walked off. His vibe was awful. I’ve never seen my hubby so crushed.

So I got out and looked and and indeed, all the plastic crap on the front of the truck was shattered off and there was a big dent in the side. I gathered pieces of truck into a little pile.

Brett came back carrying more pieces of truck and told me we’d hit a deer and that it was “vaporized.” He was really bummed so I just squeezed his arm and we got back in the truck and drove home.

“I’ve only had it ONE DAY!” he said. “Talk about the fucking LUCK.”

At home he called the cops – he had to try a few counties until he got the right one – and made a report, and the next morning he called the insurance agency and opened a claim. Whenever anyone asked for his license plate and he explained it was only a day old and he only had a trip permit they’d groan with sympathy.

There go our rates, I bet. I was already bummed about having to add a full-coverage vehicle (I’m cheap and only buy liability), but now we’ve got a truck that needs anywhere from $2k to $6k worth of work! Sigh. I hope they don’t ream us totally.

The truck’s damage is like this: we think the buck came up out of the ditch on the driver’s side of the road and immediately went under the driver’s side tire, and its body slammed the lower portion of the driver’s door and the door behind it. So the grille, headlights, and other details on the driver’s front corner are all shattered, and basically the entire cab is dented in on that side. Since this is an extra cab, that means two doors and the pole are dented. The driver’s door is dented so badly there’s a half-inch gap now and the breeze blows right in.

Brett went to see the bank and the insurance people today and while I haven’t heard from him, but I think it will all turn out all right. I think he was mostly wigged out because he’d been SO happy about getting the truck he wanted and then suddenly it was smashed… and he hadn’t even been doing anything silly.

Apparently the buck didn’t suffer, Brett said. And I think once his new baby’s fixed my hubby won’t be suffering either, so in the end it might be okay. (Thank God we didn’t hit it in the Jeep, ’cause it would have been much worse and the Jeep only has liability!)

I think this is proof, however, for my assertion that no one needs a new car. They’re expensive, they’re not more sound than an older vehicle, and they’re nothin’ but heartache. Ten years old or better, that’s the ticket! No attachment, no stress! Just drive the damn things. And when you hit stuff with ’em, it hardly matters.

I am SO not an early adopter. Let other bastards pay for R&D. Give me the tried and true – and reasonably priced – any day.