In which I tell feminism to take a chill pill. Again.

Okay, so there’s this gay guy, okay? And he’s famous and a lot of people really like him because he’s charming and funny and intelligent and gregarious and because he’s Stephen fucking Fry, okay?

Well. Apparently, in an interview, Mr. Fry recently said:

If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas. Women would go and hang around in churchyards thinking: ‘God, I’ve got to get my fucking rocks off’, or they’d go to Hampstead Heath and meet strangers to shag behind a bush.

and also:

I feel sorry for straight men. The only reason women will have sex with them is that sex is the price they are willing to pay for a relationship with a man, which is what they want.

As both a woman and a human being, I’m so far from offended I can’t even tell you, but feminism had a total cow. (Apparently now they get offended if you don’t call them disgusting pigs when you’re calling the boys disgusting pigs?) Fry apologized, of course, but the girls aren’t having any of it. They’re mad because OMG, WAIT, WHAT?! THE GENDERZ ARE DIFF’RNT? HEY! YOU CAN’T SAY THAT! YOU’RE OPRESSIN’ ME! FEMINISM MAKES ME EQUAL! Also because they can’t read: Fry didn’t say women are frigid, he said they don’t like sex as much as men, where “as much as” is frequency and not ability to enjoy physical pleasure. Duh.

Well, it seems that feminists have utterly missed the point that ‘equal’ is not ‘the same,’ and they’re offended that Fry – who is A FUCKING HOMOSEXUAL – isn’t utterly conversant with women’s sexuality. They’re pissed off that he, a man who is also a professional comedian, made a joke about how hard it can be for straight men to get the amount of sex they’d be having if they had their druthers.

Is this shocking to anybody, the idea that men would like to have more sex or that women look for relationships? How ’bout you, in the back? No? Yeah, I thought so.

Feminism, I dub thee whacked out. Srsly. Your focus on fear and anger just makes you ugly. Breathe, my sisters, and make a resolve to focus on eternal qualities like compassion and nurturing. Your gender is an aspect of your experience, and not even the defining one!

Someday you’ll wake up and you’ll be invisible, no longer a sexualized object or a servant to motherhood, but just your own creature, and you’ll find that most of what upset the hell out of you in the past was, well, just plain stupid. I promise.

~+~+~
The following is my reply to this article on the topic, and I post it here because, while I do want to get it off my chest I’m really not interested in having a big fat online fight with university-educated fems about how the world is run by men whose agenda is to control women:

What you’re using there in place of a rational argument is actually entirely anecdotal. In my twenty-six years of having sex with men, I have had the experience that they are libidinous significantly more often than I am, and that lack of sex can often be a quality of life issue for them. Nearly every man I’ve slept with regularly has, upon questioning, admitted that he’d prefer mediocre or even bad sex to no sex.

To repeat: males have been known (in safe environments) to admit that they would often rather have sex with no emotional component than to have no sex at all. Women fuck around, of course we do, but we tend to initiate sexual congress with an openness toward the possibility of developing an emotional component. And statistically women just plain fuck around for sex and sex only less often than men do, and facts remain true even if they offend.

On the biological level, woman are fertile roughly one month per year while males are fertile twelve months per year. Surely this must have a behavioral impact?

Here’s an anecdotal submission of my own: I personally know gay men who cruise, in parks and restrooms, specifically for sex with strangers. I know zero lesbians who do so. Among my straight friends, the boys are more likely to frequent clubs specifically for sex than the girls are. (Going out with the intention of meeting guys with whom you’re willing to have sex but whom you’re hoping will eventually become partners is NOT THE SAME BEHAVIOR.)

I have never met a person who believes that “all men, all the time, are hard, ready, and made utterly irrational by their need for sex,” nor have I met anyone that thinks that “women are sexless angels with nothing between their legs.” Where did you even get that crap? Those images are archetypal, not literal. There’s a difference.

Ideology aside, the truth is that boys do want it more often than girls do, and that’s okay. Fry wasn’t bashing women by saying they’re less horny. Your anger is baffling to me; the man is queer, for heaven’s sake, what the hell does he know about women’s sexuality? Fry’s statement had nothing to do with, as one commenter said, “fear of expressing one’s sexuality, of being harmed physically, ridiculed, or rejected because society regards the very expression of one’s honest sexuality as inappropriate at best.” That rant is, like most of what I’ve read about Fry’s comments, off topic and oriented distressingly toward victimhood-as-identity, which is a mental health issue and not a social one. Not to mention yet again that he’s gay! You think he doesn’t know first hand all about “being harmed physically, ridiculed, or rejected because society regards the very expression of one’s honest sexuality as inappropriate at best”? HELLO, IS THIS THING ON?

Grow up, ladies. This feminist backlash is making me bummed at my own gender.