In which I voted, so I get to share a few opinions. With liberal amounts of gratuitious cursing!
1. I think the GOP has lost its bloody mind. THE SKY IS NOT FALLING, you stupid chickens. Shut up, for the love of God, you’re giving me a fucking headache.
2. I think the Tea Party is made up entirely of idiots. The bulk of them apparently are racists, for fuck’s sake, and I really want them to shut up about bailouts already. Let it go. It’s done. Move on. Jesus. I am, however, glad that the GOP is internally divided in this way because they’ll waste a bunch of cycles trying to redefine themselves.
3. I do not like it when FAUX News tells me that my president “isn’t doing what Americans want.” I am an American, you asshats, and I think he’s fine. (At least I’m not ashamed of him, like I was of Bush.)
4. I think THIS is a SERIOUS goddamned PROBLEM, much more serious than any of the political talking points this election has covered:
You know your country is the world’s gibbering idiot when FUCKING AUSTRALIA makes fun of it.
5. I am sick unto death of American media. I want facts, you stupid bitches, not your idiotic twenty-year-old entitled spazed out ignorant opinions. (I love you, BBC America.)
6. I still cannot believe that Rush Limbaugh is famous. He has no qualities whatsoever that should be appealing; he is not kind, he is not wise, he is not generous, and he is not honest.
7. I also cannot believe that Sarah Palin is famous. Palin in 2012? Are you fucking kidding me? She thinks that she’s an expert in foreign policy because she lives in Alaska and Russia’s just right over there. She also doesn’t know that Africa is a fucking continent. Holy shit. Seriously.
8. Christianity in this country is UTTERLY FUCKED. American Christians literally do not know what their own scripture means. I am no longer interested in pretending tolerance for the Christian religion because it’s no longer a religion.
If I weren’t a peace-loving vegetarian Hindu, I’d start shooting Christians every time I caught them working on the Sabbath day, letting their wives speak, or calling fucking psychic hotlines. Because the OT says all that shit is VER-fucking-BOTEN, you dig, and if all y’all want to be literal, which you so clearly do, you idiots, then let’s ALL get literal! Your bigotry, hatred, and closed-minded provinciality makes you just as batshit crazy insane as those brown extremist people. I expect you to start blowing yourselves up in public any goddamned day now.
9. I am not looking forward to a Republican congress, because from this day forward literally nothing will get done. Individuals these days are too petty and too complicated; a big ol’ room full of them with their various clashing ideologies and very little in the way of real knowledge, compassion, or genuine care is gonna result in a bunch of bullshit bills and nearly endless filibustering.
10. In the past, it was a pretty cool balance, really, that the president and the congress represented different parties. Now, though, I think it’s verily the end of functioning government, and the beginning of the end of America’s childhood. Now America enters its teen years, and shit is about to get terribly, awfully, horribly funky, and there will be endless temper tantrums.
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These Republican acceptance speeches are pissing me off. The national debt? Don’t these fuckers have any idea how much the U.S. spends on its insane fucking military budget every year?!?!
(In 2004, the U.S. spent $623 billion on military spending, and the ENTIRE REST OF THE WORLD COMBINED spent $500 billion. In 2009, we spent 4.3% of our GDP – $663,255,000,000 – and the world’s next largest spender, China, spent only $98,800,000,000.)
Sure, the bailouts were a bummer. Yes, AIG sucks. No, not all of America is anti-healthcare bill…
Looking at the big board and the closeness of so many races, it looks like my country is pretty much spit in two.
Applause, applause! Can you hear me clapping? That video was brilliant. I know it’s only picking on the dummies, but it still makes me shake my head, especially when I know my 15 year old would get more right. I wonder if anyone told David P. that he’s supposed to be Muslim or Catholic and not Jewish.
Rick Mercer, a Canadian comic used to do regular spots called Talking to America where he would ask questions or get Americans to say “I support the polar bear hunt in Toronto”. It was so funny, so mean, but so funny.
Great post.
That video makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a chopstick! *lol* -m
Don’t be a dummy like the people in that clip. Acknowledge that that piece was EDITED! I hang out with 25 people that would get most of those answers right.
Of course it’s edited. But there are still a shitload of terrifyingly dumb fucking people. -m
#8. That sums a lot up nicely, I think. I wish I had written this post, or any post about the horrible events of 11/2/10. But after election day, I curled up, wept, and licked my wounds. Now that the state of Florida has elected Voldemort as its new governor, I felt I couldn’t scatter my energy. Will be stopping into Ollivander’s soon for a super-charged wand to assist writing vitriolic kick-ass rejoinders on the blog.