You know who’s been getting on my nerves?
Brett’s dad.
Yes, yes, he’s dead. But he’s been popping out of Brett’s mouth lately. Take this morning, for instance. I did something Brett didn’t like – I put a blanket on his sprained ankle and made him holler with pain – but instead of saying, “Ow! That fucking hurts dude!” he told me instead that I’m stupid.
Much like he did the day I broke my rear view mirror. And once recently when he didn’t like something I did while driving. And it seems like there was another time but I don’t remember exactly what it was.
What with the sprained ankle and all I let it slide this morning. But tonight, I’ll say this: “I don’t think you know you’re doing this, so I’m bringing it to your attention. When you don’t get your way, or you’re tired, or you’re in pain, or whatever, you’ve begun talking to me like you say your dad talked to your mom.
“If I do something you don’t like, please let me know. But in the future, I need you to make an effort to stop telling me I’m stupid. It’s just not gonna fly with me, and I don’t care if it’s a sprained ankle or your whole foot’s been cut off: watch what you say to your wife.”
I’m actually kinda looking forward to the look on his face: Me? I’ve been doing that? No way! It’s just so not his style to speak to people that way; I think we all fall into bad habits sometimes. I know I periodically hear my mom or dad’s least desirable tones come out of my own mouth!
Ah, the struggle to be a better person never ceases!
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Holy. Is he mentally reverting back to a five-year-old? I can’t believe he would call you stupid; no matter if he’s in pain or not. There seems to be some underlying anger going on there, and his out breaks are simply temporary releases of said anger. It works much like stress: every time we repress an emotion, we carry it around with us until eventually it breaks loose. Each of these times that he’s lashed out vocally are just culminations of building negative emotions. I’d really talk to him about it if I were you…
Of course, that’s just my opinion and I could be totally way off. 😉
He’s my favorite redneck (which is why I married him) and I try to keep the girly talking to a minimum most of the time. But yeah, sometimes a little talk is needed… especially when he busts out with the ‘stupid’ stuff. We’ll certainly have a brief chat in the near future. I hadn’t even noticed it until this morning when I realized he’d been using the word stupid a lot, and then I remembered some other conversations we’ve had about our childhoods etc.
I’ve lived with him for 7 years, and this is surfacing for the first time – I’ve never seen it before. I think some old issues are coming up for him, probably some combination of work (he’s a grown up now, with his own business and all the responsibility that entails) and marriage (I think it’s just now hitting both of us that we’re, like, MARRIED. FOREVER) and plain old hot sticky summer.
And his little sister is going to make him an uncle in December. I think it all adds up, you know? Last winter I was an unholy bitch for awhile when the deep dark months and the thyroid problems all got me down, and half of what I said sounded (to me) like my mother at her most pissed off and acerbic!
I’ve noticed the more I resist being like my mother, the bitchier (and the more like her) I become. Sigh.
It’s so easy to be like them, isn’t it? It almost seems inevitable. Akk!