In which there’s nothing to be excited about, I just realized it’s been an entire quarter since I last posted.

Glad spring is here, though I’m already mildly stressed about the yard. There are a thousand weeds poking up through the gravel in the back, which I do not want to either pull by hand nor poison with herbicide. Owning land is probably more fun when you’re genuinely a garden sort of person.

Been collecting landscaping business cards for awhile; finally sat down and texted all of them today because the lawn’s at least 10″ tall and himself is making zero moves to mow it. One place responded and said they’d take a look in the morning and let me know what they’d charge. (Himself gets to pay for it, of course, and I might even take an admin fee for arranging it.) I ain’t livin’ in the ghetto-ass bad yard-lookin’ house, fuck that. If he ain’t gonna mow it, somebody who isn’t me is.

This administration is stressing me out. Looks like the economy very well might collapse? What the fuck. I mean, I already can’t afford to ever retire, but I am very accustomed to my global supply chain and don’t want to wake up one morning to find I’m too poor for exotic, expensive, rich-people things like coffee or, I don’t know, soy sauce. Or clothes. Or any of the other shit we do not make in this country and cannot make again within a reasonable amount of time because, as any moron knows, building these things from first principles is complex, expensive, and time consuming, and when you’re done you need an entire class of people who will agree, for whatever reason, to work in factories, and in this country that ain’t the white people.

It really is bizarre how deeply fucking racist much of America actually is, when you get down to it. They voted to burn the country to the ground not on policy (the “policy,” if it can even truly be called that, was released pre-election, and it laid out exactly what they’re doing now: disappearing citizens without due process, destroying the government, defunding the post office, social security, and medicare, and knocking science and medicine back a hundred years) but more because they wanted to be able say the n-word without normal people snubbing them for it. People voted for fucking fascism because they didn’t want anybody who isn’t white and straight to, what? Be treated as human beings?

They all say it was about economics, but nobody rational would vote to have their retirement fund in free fall. It’s not Christian and it’s not conservative, because for those you’d need love and intelligence: two qualities conspicuously absent from any of these people.

Anyway.

The patio cat I liked, the probably-mildly-brain-damaged-from-exposure-or-malnutrition cat, got chased away by another patio cat. This replacement patio cat was a large, mature, street-wise tuxedo cat, and he brought a tiny juvenile cat around. She turned out to be female, of course, and I knew I should trap her and get her fixed, but I didn’t, and now she’s visibly pregnant. Long story short, there are about to be patio kittens.

These I will, swear to dog, trap and get fixed. For fuck’s sake. Even if I have to pay for it myself.

The little hardwood sapling my aunt gave me survived the winter! It’s beginning to bud! I slow watered it this afternoon. I like to imagine it twenty years from now, shading the back yard and the roof. Can’t imagine being here myself to see that, but still. It’s a really nice thought.

I was offended to perceive I was coming down with something the week before last, because I’d had Covid only six months before, but come down with something I did. Missed three days of work, had to go to the walk-in clinic. Some kind of bonkers sinus infection, maybe, or a lung infection or something. They never really know, but I got the good cough syrup and a course of antibiotics. I asked the doc about prescribing them for something that probably isn’t bacterial and about placebo, but she told me that a greater percentage of people respond to antibiotics under these circumstances than you’d expect if the effect were only placebo! So, mystery bacteria! Or something. They don’t know.

I felt better after two doses of antibiotics. But no way to know if it was because of them or if it would have happened anyway!

Today I did dishes, make an extremely elaborate sandwich, did laundry, watered the hardwood tree, got groceries, paid bills, found someone to mow, and did full sadhana. Give me gold stars, please!