In which I lecture people on Facebook who will never read this.

Do not vote third party. Not in this election. I can understand not liking Clinton, but voting for anybody else is a vote for Trump.

Is Clinton ideal? Certainly not. I don’t like her at all.
Is it absurd and baffling that the GOP couldn’t be bothered to field a real candidate and we ended up with this reality TV fucktard? Absolutely, yes.
Is it all just infuriating, insulting, dumb, and awful? Yes. Yes it is.

But SO THE FUCK WHAT. Adult up already and understand that they call it a “wasted vote” because voting for a third-party candidate is, literally and unequivocally, A WASTED VOTE. And we can’t afford that shit right now.

You can pontificate all you like about “our hijacked democracy” and “the Clinton agenda” and you wouldn’t be wrong, but if all you immature, idealistic nerds vote your so-called consciences, TRUMP AS POTUS IS GOING TO BE YOUR FAULT. You think this country’s going to hell in a handbasket now? Put a total idiot in office for four years and watch what happens to a nation as precariously balanced as this one when the leadership is utterly incompetent.

This is not the election for idealism. Do not elect a TV personality by tossing your vote away on some obscure candidate most Americans have never heard of just because you’re mad that the system isn’t what you’d like.

You’re not twelve fucking years old. You’re an adult, capable of subtle analysis, and you’re smart enough to see that you cannot allow Trump to sit in that chair. He’s unqualified as fuck, and he has a very upsetting agenda, full of ignorance and provincialism more suited to the world climate of a century ago. Worse, he suffers a painful lack of historical, political, or legal knowledge and an utter ignorance of protocol, with an apparent complete absence of desire to acquire same.

This is the election for pragmatism. If you truly wanted to fix the system, you’d have tried to do so long before now, and the vast majority of you haven’t.

So STFU about how Clinton isn’t ideal. WE ALL KNOW THAT, even the giddy feminists waxing breathless about Clinton’s possessing a vagina. At least she’s an actual politician. At this point, we just need to keep Trump out of the goddamned office; after that we can talk about fixing things.

…but we won’t. We’ll all go back to whatever we do on non-election years, and our “deeply-held” political beliefs — those ridiculous idealistic ones that prompt us to WASTE OUR ONE AND ONLY VOTE — will cause us to do what we always did, which is not much of anything useful as far as fixing our democracy.

Do not vote third party. Not in this election.