In which these are just baking notes (I’ll want to know what ratios I used if this batch is either a raging success or a terrific failure).

Grocery store’s been entirely out of flour the last few times I was in there, but last Sunday’s paper had an article about a local wheat farmer. Visited the website and guess what? FREE LOCAL DELIVERY! Thanks, pandemic!

I bought some flour online, and he dropped it by on Monday. (His truck wouldn’t start, so I made him a cup of coffee while he waited for his son to rescue him, and we had a quick chat. He’d like the cheese shop to carry his flour, but the owners are already planning to carry another local farmer’s flour.) Yay, local wheat farming people!

Last night I used up the last of my refrigerated dough on a pizza (which we ate immediately) and a demi baguette (which I used for lunch sandwiches this afternoon). Now I’m totally out of King Arthur all purpose flour, so this is my first time using this local flour with higher protein and lower gluten.

3 c. warm water
1 packet yeast
1-1/2 c. white grocery store flour
1/2 c. atta
4 c. Joel’s Organics bread flour
1 Tbsp. salt

I suspect it’ll be fine because of the long hydration time, and with what was left of my white flour for the added gluten. I was tempted to add a bit more water, but decided to make my recipe as I usually do as a baseline.

I’ll try a baguette with it tomorrow and see what I get!

I also bought 5 pounds of buckwheat flour, because I had a brain fart and got it mixed up with spelt. I’ll have to figure out how to make buckwheat muffins or pancakes or whatever. Might just add a cup of it to the next batch of dough to see how that tastes, maybe instead of the atta?


THE NEXT DAY:

Dough looks good, lots of activity and air bubbles:

Made a pizza, the crust was lovely and soft, a bit more like whole wheat.

Decent oven spring on the boule.

Looks like previous first-day boules. The crumb is really soft, flavor’s nice. Really fantastic crispy crust! Excited to try a baguette with it after the dough’s had a few more days to ferment.

 

In which, okay, I know I’ve posted too much about bread lately, and some of these pics are recycled, but this is my adaptation of someone else’s adaptation of the ‘Artisan Bread In 5 Minutes A Day’ method.

I think I’ve got my dough recipe dialed in! This has amazing crust and crumb. Here we go!

One part hot tap water (3 cups).

One packet yeast.

Two parts flour (about 6 unsifted cups):
– 50% King Arthur all-purpose
– 25% atta (whole wheat flour, used to make Indian chapati)
– 25% grocery store white all-purpose flour

Salt (a tablespoon or so).

In a large bowl, place the water (100F or so, no hotter) and the yeast. Dump in all the flour, then the salt. Stir together into a shaggy, wet mass (I use the handle of a spatula, it’s chrome and sort of like a dough hook).

Cover loosely and let rise at room temperature for two hours (I put mine in the oven with the light on, and use one of those plastic bowl covers with elastic) and then refrigerate.

When you remember it’s there later (as soon as a few hours, as late as ten days), use kitchen shears to cut off a chunk of the dough, maybe the size of an apple. It’ll be really sticky, so flour your hands. Shape it into a ball with the tuck-and-turn method shown here (I do mine on a pastry mat, but you can do it anywhere, really).

Put a metal bowl or pan into your oven, big enough to hold at least a cup of water, but larger is fine (I use a stainless dog bowl). Also place a baking stone or cast iron (shallow frying pan or griddle) into your oven.

Set the oven temperature to at least 450 (I do most of my baking between 450 and 500F).

When your dough’s warmed up some (you don’t want it super cold in the center as that will affect how it bakes, especially with boules, but you don’t need to bring it all the way to room temp), put it on a piece of parchment paper. Then score the top with a serrated knife. This is to allow for oven spring, but you can get all fancy decorative if you’re like that.

Get a cup or so of hot tap water.

Open your oven, and quickly put the bread on its parchment directly on the hot stone or cast iron, pour the hot water into the pan or bowl, and close the door.

If you have a clean spray bottle, fill it with water, and spray the inside of the oven thoroughly at least three times during the first seven minutes to keep the loaf moist and encourage oven spring. After 7 or 10 minutes, you can quit spraying and let the crust develop.

Bake your bread until it’s a light golden brown, somewhere between 20 and 30 minutes depending on the size of the loaf.

Cool on a wire rack.

To make baguette, I let it sit in a round for about ten minutes, dust it with flour again, and roll it out gently with the palms of my hands. Sometimes I pick it up and let its own weight stretch it out a bit. You want to handle it gently so you don’t pop all the air bubbles inside, so getting an even baguette is tricky; mine usually have a big lump somewhere but they taste fantastic.

To make pita, flour the hell out of the dough and roll it into thin rounds. Bake at 500F on the hot stone or cast iron; no water pan or misting is needed. The moisture in the dough will be trapped by the flour cloak, and the pita will steam inside. Keep in a tea towel so it doesn’t dry out.

For pizza, let it sit in a ball for ten minutes, then roll into a thin round and top. Bake on the stone or use a separate cookie sheet or pizza pan. I do the water pan but it’s not strictly necessary.

For naan, roll it into an oval and cook in a hot, dry pan on the stove top. When it’s done, brush with ghee. Keep in a tea towel until service.

 

In which we’re having a GLOBAL PANDEMIC, guys.

In case you haven’t had time to stay caught up, here’s a quick pandemic data dump.

Oregon governor today bans dine-in, gatherings over 25
https://www.oregonlive.com/coronavirus/2020/03/amid-coronavirus-oregon-will-not-yet-impose-curfew-on-restaurants-and-bars-gov-kate-brown-declares.html 

Multiple states following CDC recs (the dumbass White House: ‘fake news’)
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/03/15/coronavirus-bars-restaurants-closed-states/5055634002/
  
Even fuckin’ Vegas is closing tomorrow?!
https://vegas.eater.com/2020/3/15/21181058/mgm-resorts-closes-vegas-properties-march-16 

Overview:

    – the R0 for Covid-19 is estimated at 2.2, so it is almost twice as contagious as H1N1
    – current estimates of mortality rate is conservatively 10 times that of H1N1
    – the 2019 flu jab offered no protection against this novel corona virus, so the entire population is susceptible
    – there is no Tamiflu-like drug treatment for this disease, only symptom mitigation (we have only a single anti-viral, still in trials, with no proven success against Covid-19)
    – causes mild or asymptomatic infections in a large percentage of those infected, which contributes to spread
    – we don’t have anti-virals available to reduce the number of days of viral loads high enough to infect others  
    – there is possible evidence of reinfection which implies surviving it doesn’t convey immunity (but this is likely a testing error)
    – there is very little testing in the US, so population infection rates are likely significantly higher than reported
    – working estimate of the total infections in the US today is 670,000 or 1 of every 485 people
    – hospitals in Italy, an estimate 10-14 days ahead of us, are so overwhelmed by the ill they forced into wartime triage protocols

Coronavirus survives on hard surfaces for days
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/03/14/811609026/the-new-coronavirus-can-live-on-surfaces-for-2-3-days-heres-how-to-clean-them  

CDC sanitization guidelines (KILL IT WITH BLEACH)
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/community/organizations/cleaning-disinfection.html

White House today, fucking finally, steps up
https://www.whitehouse.gov/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/03.16.20_coronavirus-guidance_8.5x11_315PM.pdf  

Over-the-counter anti-inflammatory drugs (like ibuprofen) may aggravate Covid-19, so stick to Tylenol
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/14/anti-inflammatory-drugs-may-aggravate-coronavirus-infection  

SARS-CoV-19 has a super awful rally-then-decompensate feature
https://www.roi-nj.com/2020/03/14/opinion/life-at-the-epicenter-of-n-j-s-coronavirus-outbreak/

https://twitter.com/ianmnoone/status/1239236932372172800

How to flatten the curve
https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/world/corona-simulator/

CDC to employers: minimize exposure between employees and also between employees and the public
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/community/guidance-business-response.html

Deeper dive: WHO stats & research
https://ourworldindata.org/coronavirus 

In conclusion, STAY THE FUCK HOME. #StayTheFHome

– San Francisco is shelter in place
– Dubai is closed
– France is closed
Porn is closed

 

In which there are things I’ve cooked. (Or baked! I guess baking is a different category.)

I cook a lot, for a variety of reasons. Eating out is expensive. I live in the middle of nowhere and can only go out to eat if he (and his car) are home. I’ve become an experienced cook and it’s enjoyable. I feel vaguely guilty about the massive amounts of Doordash I had while living in Uptown (as in, I was personally a major contributor to the immanent collapse of restaurant culture and the rise of the shitty gig economy). There’s nowhere to get what I want to eat so I have to make it myself. And so on.

Anyway, I cook a lot! Here’s a bunch of stuff from the past week or so. A lot of it is bread-based because now I always have bread dough in my fridge!

Here’s dal makhani and naan:

The dal makhani was made in the Instant Pot and I sort of winged it, after reading about three different recipes, based on the ingredients I had on hand. It has a fuckton of Kashmiri red chili powder in it but is somehow rich rather than spicy-hot?

Here’s kachumber with masala eggs (sorta followed that recipe but not really), papadam, and chai:

Here’s a French carrot soup, potage crécy:

And a brie sandwich to eat with it because I fucking love a brie sandwich on good baguette:

And pizzas. Three kinds of pizzas! On homemade dough!

Red: tomato sauce, ricotta, white mushrooms, aged gouda, dried oregano, red pepper flakes
Bianca: olive oil, flake salt, sliced garlic, ricotta, parm-reg, fresh thyme, black pepper

(I’m going to try the bianca with marinated artichoke hearts and post-bake dollops of garlicky tomato sauce next. It’ll be epic!)

And this one, which I made only because I had all the ingredients and did not expect to enjoy but freakin’ LOVED:

Brie: apple, brie, honey, slivered almonds, fresh thyme

(Himself was going to make himself a green olive and hamburger pizza, too, but never got around to it.)

Here’s boule with fromage blanc, olive oil, and black pepper — a new favorite snack:

So much so I incorporated it into my Sunday brunch:

Buttered eggs, tomato and mushrooms, baguette with fromage blanc, cafe au lait.

(The cheesemaker at work says he knows how to make fromage blanc, so hopefully now that I know I love it I’ll be able to talk him into making it from time to time!)

I eat well, supremely well, buuuuut mostly by myself. My better half is in a junk food phase these days, and eats a lot of delicious pre-prepared garbage (frozen stuff like burritos, tots, and chicken wings, boxed mac ‘n’ cheese, ramen, shit like that) and, like, a ton of bacon sandwiches.

Half the time he refuses to eat what I’ve cooked, but I’m pretty sure I did a similar thing when I was his age, like, Fuck it, I’m an adult, and I’m going to eat what I want and not what I SHOULD. I mean, he did eat some of the pizzas and the carrot soup; it’s not like he’s not getting any vegetables (plus he says he eats salads at work most of the time because they’re preferable to whatever’s on the hot table). In other words, there’s a lot of stuff in the freezer lately because I get bored of it before it’s gone!

The complete lack of Mexican food in this post can be read as implying that I ate lunch at Patty’s a couple times last week, because that’s what actually happened!

 

In which there’s a tuna sandwich.

I baked a loaf of bread and made a pressed sandwich:

We ate it for dinner!

(The expensive olive oil canned tuna has the texture and taste of canned tuna from my childhood. Made me feel a weird sort of nostalgia, even.)

Update: holy SHIT was this amazing the next day. Don’t eat it the day you make it, there’s literally no reason to. This is truly the ultimate hiking sandwich!

As side note: the people who own this house offered to replace the kitchen counter, but I really wanted to move in as soon as possible because my work transportation situation was getting complicated. Now I kinda wish we’d waited for the new counter.

 

In which I’ve made PERFECT baguette! Holy shit, IT’S A MIRACLE!

The #breadin5 dough has been hanging out in the fridge since the 17th, so today I baked it up and THE RESULTS were SPECTACULAR:

The crust is delicately crisp, and the crumb is glossy and soft with lots of holes. It actually did that singing thing when it was cooling from the oven! This is an IDEAL baguette!

It’s fucking amazing, this “artisan bread in five minutes a day” recipe/method/concept. Make a wet dough, leave it in the fridge, pull off a chunk and shape it and bake it in a hot oven with a bowl of water for steam: that’s it! That’s the whole thing! Super easy, no stress, and absolutely professional results.

I didn’t even need to buy anything — I used a big bowl for mixing and storing the dough, and instead of a baking stone I used my cast iron griddle. I don’t have a pizza peel, so I used a bamboo cutting board. In place of a dough whisk, I used the chrome handle of my silicon spatula. And while I did buy the book, I didn’t even need to: the recipe and method are right here. Never even used the bench knife I bought for sourdough awhile back, and, while the pastry mat is nice it certainly isn’t necessary. Basic kitchen stuff suffices.

All you really need is to learn how to form loaves, but that takes less than three minutes.

The dough smelled freaking amazing when I took it out of the fridge today, really fruity and yeasty, but I couldn’t taste any difference between the loaf baked on day 2 and the ones baked today, so it probably needs to spend a dozen days in the fridge to start to get sour.

I’ve just started a second batch with this yeast:

…mostly because that’s the only yeast I have left in the house, but I have high hopes for the results!

I ordered a bunch of soft, bloomy rind cheeses on Friday and am expecting them Monday or Tuesday. Super stoked that I’ll be ready for them with a fantastic, delicious baguette!

 

In which there’s not really a recipe so as much as an assembly idea.

I have leftover chili and it needs to be eaten, but another bowl of chili does not sound appealing. So I’ve mashed up a few recipes and here’s chili cheese enchiladas.

Ingredients:

leftover chili
corn tortillas
cottage cheese
grated cheddar, divided
spring onions, divided
hot sauce or salsa (I used El Pato)

Procedure:

Combine cottage cheese, grated cheddar, and spring onions in whatever ratio appeals to you.

Cover the bottom of a casserole dish with hot sauce or salsa. (You could also use chili, if you have enough; it’s to keep the tortillas from sticking.)

Heat enough corn tortillas until pliable. (I wrap them in a damp paper towel and nuke them for 30-55 seconds. They can also be heated over a gas burner or on a hot griddle.) Fill them with the cottage cheese mixture, roll, and place seam side down on top of the salsa in the casserole. Cover the enchiladas with the chili. Top with the remaining cheddar and spring onions.

Heat the enchiladas until bubbling (oven or microwave, whatever works for you).

Garnish with sour cream and serve.

 

In which it’s the #breadin5 recipe!

Okay. So. There are cheeses that need to be enjoyed with good bread. Not the crap from the Safeway bakery, but good bread. What they call artisan bread now, what used to be rustic peasant bread.

Bread you can only get from fancy bakeries now.

I got too spoiled with those Salty Tart baguettes at my last job, okay? Those baguettes were a revelation. I mean, there is no better way to eat a gooey, creamy, funky French brie than with a real baguette. We don’t have gooey, creamy, funky French bries, really, but we do have some brie and a bunch of other cheeses that would benefit from good bread.

Anyway, now I live in rural Oregon and we don’t have a fancy bakery. We have a Safeway, and their bread is pretty, and well-displayed in the store, and it all tastes exactly the same and the crust and crumb are too soft and too bland and it’s just depressing.

So, maybe it’s time for me to do that refrigerator bread thing. Yeah. Maybe. It was all the rage awhile back and maybe now I have the experience to understand it.

Yesterday I made this recipe. Sorta. What I did was:

3 cups 100F tap water
1 packet yeast
2 teaspoons salt
6-1/2 cups (2 pounds) flour

I used about 5 cups of King Arthur Unbleached All Purpose and about one cup of atta (Indian whole wheat flour, which I bought for roti/chapati).

Mixed it in my largest mixing bowl with the wire handle of one of my spatulas, covered it with plastic wrap, and left it in the oven (with the light on) for two hours to rise. It got huge.

Moved it to the fridge until it was well chilled (maybe 4 hours or so?), and then made a pizza with it.

I generally hate doughy pizzas and always prefer a thinner crust, but this dough is GOOD.

(The pizza was made with leftover garlic butter from an artichoke I ate, store-bought Parmesan Reggiano tomato sauce, a vanishingly rare (as in it’s no longer being made and there’s not much in existence) goat milk gouda I got from work, red pepper, white onion, and fresh spinach. It was fucking fantastic.)

Today I made a boule.

The dough broke when I lifted it out of the bowl, so I shaped the loaf out of two pieces. The piece on the inside exploded through the scores!

Oven spring for the win!

In the oven was a cast iron griddle and a stainless steel bowl. When pre-heated, put the loaf on parchment paper on the griddle, poured hot tap into the bowl for steam.

Also misted the inside of the oven with a spray bottle of water four or five times during baking, which probably took around 40 minutes or so, for additional moisture.

The crust is fantastic, crispy and delicate. The crumb is soft and chewy. Next time I’ll let the loaf sit on the counter for 90 minutes, get bigger holes in the crumb.

The recipe is supposed to make four 1-pound loaves, so there’s probably enough dough left for two or three baguettes. Might bake those up this afternoon and then mix another batch of dough!

Or might let the dough sit and develop in the fridge for a few days first.

Anyway, this dough is cool. With some in the fridge, you can have any bread you want in very little time–a pizza, a boule, a baguette, flatbread, focaccia, dinner rolls, whatever.


Here’s the mother recipe for this fridge method.

And here’s the original book:

 

In which I just looked out the window!

It’s Sunday so we slept in and then went out for brunch. I had a veggie omelet (with sweet potato in it, for some reason) and hash browns and a side of vegetarian gravy because I love gravy.

Then we came home and he studied for his cert exam next week and I took a nap.

Spent some time massaging my music library (I’ve backed up my ancient iPod yet again but this time I’m actually doing something with the data — I put it in MusicBee and am working on art and tags and replacing corrupted/DRM’d tracks) and then I went out into the living room to get something and glanced out the window and

HOLY SHIT! THAT LITTLE TREE OUTSIDE IS BUDDING OUT!!!

I probably don’t have the words for how fucking fantastic it is, like, on a cellular level, to be back out here where I’m from. Spring in Minneapolis doesn’t come until June, so the winters are not only cold as hell but extremely long.

I know this winter has been disturbingly mild, I know that, but there’s been green all winter. Just bits, here and there, in lawns or next to the irrigation ditch or whatever, but it lifts the heart to see it. (Plus, I’ve only worn cleats two days this winter, during that ice storm thing last month!)

Sincerely looking forward to a long-ass season of mild and green and growing and non-blizzard this year.

Really should weed those raised beds out front; maybe tomorrow.

 

In which not much of anything!

I like my job, I like my house, I got last Saturday off unexpectedly and spent it day-drinking and napping! It was so great!

My relationship is lovely and lively, I’m richer than I deserve (I just ordered two bespoke dresses and have tons of food in the cupboards). I have a duvet cover!

There was a flood but it didn’t affect us, somehow?

I got a new desk, chair, rug, and lamp!

Life’s pretty great. How are you?