In which there’s a blog post! Because I still blog! Occasionally! Fat: On a diet now, again, again-again, started weekend before last. Basically a combo of calorie-counting and slow carb. Haven’t had any pasta or baguette, pizza or flour tortillas, but have had a couple of potatoes. Mashed last weekend, and roasted tonight. They do […]
In which there’s The Dread, aka my anxiety disorder. Had anxiety pretty bad yesterday, and during the night. Pretty anxious today, too. I know I’ve said this before, but the problem with anxiety and panic is this: Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you. In the same way, being deeply […]
In which I have a morbid new approach that really seems to be working. I have developed a new litany. Whenever there’s A Sensation my mind desires to become frightened of, I tell it this: You have a fatal, untreatable, inoperable disease. You are dying, and there’s nothing anybody can do about it. You’re bound […]
In which I think about what an asshole I’ve always been, even to myself. I’ve turned into very nearly everything for which I have ever felt contempt. Here are some examples: Fat? Check. Pampered and lazy, with a litany of psychosomatic, social, and political complaints anyway? Check. Reaches a certain age and, unoriginally, watches English […]
In which I’m just watching my mind be an asshole, because that’s what you do. I smoked cigarettes for 30 years. I was at the point where my lungs felt dry, I couldn’t get a deep breath, and walking three blocks made me pant. I quit smoking by switching to vaping, because patches and gum […]
In which there was a sensation and I freaked the fuck out: another boring-ass post about my anxiety disorder, because I bring the content! Woke up weirdly early, like 7:30 or so, and though I did try, I couldn’t get back to sleep. Eventually got really hungry, as one does if she’s awake long enough, […]
I’m so fucking high strung, you guys. So I woke up this morning, had a hummus/tabouli/falafel/feta lettuce wrap, drank some water, decided being awake was stupid, and went back to bed ’til afternoon. Got up a second time, had some water, rearranged my very dirty hair, put on eyeliner, dressed, took my shit out of […]
In which there’s a tostada. I made the salsas and the guac and fried the tortilla. I even put on a pot of pinto beans, but they’re not done yet. I mean, I made salsa. Look at this shit. And then about a third of the way through eating the glorious thing with the delicious […]
In which there’s a rant about the joyous experience of aging-while-female. This piece about perimenopause made me laugh. Especially the line, “Last week, I cried because I saw a high school marching band coming down the street playing Stevie Wonder.” (I sobbed during the end of White Christmas last night, and I’ve seen the damn […]
In which it’s the time of year known as ‘omfg i HATE the dread!!!’. About once a year or so, usually around this time, give or take a few weeks, my panic and anxiety gets really rough and I get so incredibly miserable I finally consider going into the family clinic and begging for enough […]
