I had two panic attacks today.

Two.

Sweating palms, chest ‘pains’, dizziness, and an intensely real and convincing feeling that I’m about to fucking die.

Little or no arrhythmia, though, which was nice. Well, not ‘nice,’ but better.

I’ve wanted to leave work and go home and curl up since about 1 o’clock, but I didn’t. Goddammit, I didn’t feel like letting some pansy-ass set of “symptoms” run me out of my own office!

I wonder if that hippy barrista failed to give me a decaf latte, like I requested.

 

8 Responses to My monkey

  1. amped! says:

    Ayup – I’d say it probably wasn’t decaf. After going without for – oh – 10 weeks now, and having had a cup of tea this morning, I’m totally amazed at how much of an effect caffeine can have on a system. blech. 😯

    I likes the new skin. 8)

  2. Logan says:

    They’re not panic attacks, they’re POWER SURGES.

    Rawr!

  3. Shigeki says:

    Oh… Poor Mush. I hope you will feel a lot better today. But that’s so diligent that you were able to stay at work. I am a sissy so I would go home immediately. 🙂

    By the way, I really like your idea of the fixed background. This is so kewl. And width seems to be perfect!!!!Hooray!:razz:

  4. 80 says:

    Mush,

    Last night Adam came home from meeting a client in the throes of a full-blown panic attack. He was so freaked out I was scared for him, poor baby. Once I got him to sit still and stop flipping a little bit I told him some of the things you’ve described and he kept saying “yeah, that happened” and “it felt like that”. I think he at least started to believe that the world wasn’t ending and that his head probably wouldn’t explode.

    So anyway, even though he wasn’t too keen on the idea that “my friend in Iowa, you know, the one with the website,” has this happen to her several times a week, your shared experience kept him from running crazed into an on-coming bus.

    Thanks mama!
    80

  5. Mush says:

    OMG, poor, poor Adam! They’re horrible, these stupid nervous system malfunctions. Tell him I feel for him.

  6. Mush says:

    Shigeki ~ I’ll widen it again when I can fix th e header too.

  7. Mark says:

    for those suffering panic.. I had several attacks about 4 weeks ago and since then have done a lot of research. I personally believe it’s part spiritual, part psychological, part physical (progresses in that order). in any event this may help… http://www.stopanxietyandpanic.com

  8. Panic attacks suck 🙂 I know exactly what you mean in saying that you just wanna go away from where ever you are. Hang in there. God Bless, Sunbaked