The weather is just nasty.

It’s like a big, sweaty armpit out there. I step outside and instantly become all damp and sticky, and not in a fun way.

Perhaps some swimming in the triangle pond is indicated.

Speaking of the triangle pond, the Friday before last Tahmi and Cat came out, and we ate an entire box of 24 popcicles and a whole lot (a lot, in this case, being less than an entire box) of fudgecicles, and swam naked together in the mentioned pond. As we were sitting on the floating dock drying off between dips, I looked down and cleverly made the observation, “Jesus, my pubes are really turning gray!”

“I can see that,” Cat replied.

“Brett likes to joke it’s from ‘beating on it.’ But this is absurd, it used to be only a few! Now it’s like half of them! Holy shit!”

This, my friends, is the essence of being in one’s thirties: exciting things like realizing that those fat upper arms are never going to go away (if you had them when you were nineteen, nothing will get them to budge now you’re in your late 30’s), and looking down one naked sunlit afternoon to realize that one’s pubes are about 25% gray. I mean, even the hair on my head is less gray than that!

Oh, and age spots. I now get these dark brown freckles that aren’t really freckles. There’s one on my left forearm I keep trying to brush off, because when I see it out of the corner of my eye my brain iterprets it as dirt or something. I try to brush the thing off at least once a day.

Oh, and a screwy sleep schedule: last night I didn’t get to sleep until the second half of the midnight hour, and I woke up at the absolute asscrack of dawn this morning for no apparent reason.

Which means I slept fewer than five hours.

Which means I’m fucking exhausted right about… now.

 

8 Responses to Dog Days

  1. Shigeki says:

    Wow, that’s definitely something I do not look forward to. It never occurred to me that it would be gray. I know that it has to for biological reasons but I just didn’t think that.

    It’s like a big, sweaty armpit out there. I step outside and instantly become all damp and sticky, and not in a fun way.

    I was able to imagine easily what it would like with your description. Oh, I so miss old Kansas times. đŸ™‚ I hope you can sleep well tonight. Sweet dreams.

  2. Logan says:

    The humidity melted my hair today.

    I stepped outside and vwoosh, you’d think that a nuclear blast had just flattened the entire west side of the city to debris.

    I of course quickly fixed it once I got inside the building and looked great once again, but I must have lost five pounds from sweating during the commute.

  3. Grey hair in odd places, age spots and weird sleeping habits are all a part of getting older. The weirdest thing for me is having hair grow in my ears and nose – I need to trim them once a week! I assume this is a male thing (it doesn’t happen to females). At least my crotch isn’t going gray yet.

  4. Cootera says:

    I concur: ’tis a sticky wicket out there, but relief is in sight, Mush! I read a description of hot weather on (I think) the Dialogue Blog which stated (to paraphrase) “It feels like being in someone’s lung.” Urg.

    And so what if your pubes are graying? And age spots? Pshaw! Yer still a youngster and darn tootin’ cutie patootie to boot! (I’m turning the dread FOUR-OH this month… let’s talk about feeling ooooold…)

  5. Mush says:

    Shigeki – it’ll happen. Just you wait, dear. *sigh*

    Logan – Whew! Thank God that story ended well, can’t have you out and about with BAD HAIR. *gasp*

    inter|textual – Apparently not. I’ve been noticing some new activity in terms of my own nose hair. Nothing drastic yet, but time will tell. *ugh*

    Cootera – OMG, are you having a party? How the hell did you get that old, dear heart?! (BTW, I have been out of high school for TWENTY YEARS now. How fucked up is that?!) *chortle*

  6. Cootera says:

    Dunno what I’m doing… my b-day is the 31st which happens to fall on a frikkin’ Wednesday of all days. But one of those surrounding Saturdays is going to be a wee celebratory (?turning 40 is something to celebrate?) time. C’mon up if you can — I’ll let you know when!

    Oh, and 20 years outta high school is no big thing. I figure, I’ve been out 23 years, but I’ve only been out of college for 2! LOL!! Let’s hear it for the 20 year plan!

  7. Cootera says:

    P.S. LOVE the new template!!

  8. Mush says:

    Yes, this template rawks. In Mozilla, anywho. It doesn’t render in Internet Exploder properly because IE sucks.