“Vaginal bleeding during pregnancy may be the first warning sign of a miscarriage. However, about 20 percent of women have vaginal bleeding during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, and less than half of them miscarry.”t
Oh, let’s hope I’m in the right percentage.
I started spotting yesterday before I left work. It continued, lightly, throughout the evening. (Most of which I spent sleeping.) I’m still spotting slightly. I’m SO nervous I’m going to lose this one too… I’ve had too many miscarriages to want to have another. I don’t want to feel like that again.
Of course, I might just be bleeding a little. I’m not necessarily losing the baby. Only time will tell. I’m supposed to stay calm about it, but I’m not feeling particularly calm. I’m feeling like crying. This article says it’s normal to bleed and that you can actually bleed quite a bit and still have a healthy pregnancy.
This morning Brett patted my belly and said, on his way to work, “Good bye, wife! Good bye, child!” He’s so excited. His MOM is so excited. It breaks my heart to think that I might miscarry and bum these people out. Just… I’ve had so many miscarriages already with Brett, and I really, really don’t want to have another. From what I’ve read, the more miscarriages you’ve had, the more statistically likely you are to have yet another.
Ooh, I’m freaking out here. I want to go home and lie down. I feel like crying. It’s crazy because there’s nothing you can do about it; if the thing’s not viable, it’ll come out, and that’s that. And you wouldn’t want it to stay in there if it’s not okay, of course, but shit. Most miscarriages are caused by genetic problems in the development of the fetus, and 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, which makes it really common, but common doesn’t make it easier.
I’m moody, I’m sad, I hope this is the pregnancy hormones, and not the lessening of them. One of the symptoms of miscarriage is ‘lessening of pregnancy symptoms’ and I just don’t know what to make of that. My breasts still hurt, but less than they did a few days ago. How do you know if you’re experiencing ‘lessening’?
“Among pregnant women, any of the following symptoms may indicate miscarriage:
“Brown or bright red vaginal bleeding or spotting, with or without cramps. This bleeding may occur very early in your pregnancy (even before you miss your menstrual period and know that you are pregnant), or it may occur later, after you know you are pregnant. This is the most common symptom.
“Mild to severe lower back pain or abdominal pain or cramping, either constant or intermittent.
“Tissue, clot-like material, or a gush of clear or pink fluid that passes from the vagina.
“Nausea, decrease in signs of pregnancy or loss of breast sensitivity. Dizziness.
“Typically, the symptoms of a miscarriage worsen as the condition progresses.
“Spotting turns into heavier bleeding; cramping starts and becomes stronger.”
So: either you’re bleeding and it’s okay, or you’re bleeding ’cause you’re period’s coming.
My new mantra: This bleeding is not unusual. I’m pregnant, it’s fine. I’m not going to lose it. This bleeding is not unusual. I’m pregnant, it’s fine. I’m not going to lose it. This bleeding is not unusual. I’m pregnant, it’s fine. I’m not going to lose it. This bleeding is not unusual. I’m pregnant, it’s fine. I’m not going to lose it. This bleeding is not unusual. I’m pregnant, it’s fine. I’m not going to lose it.
Lis just told me via IM NOT to WORRY about IT:
e says:
hi baby lady
e says:
XO
Mush Mook says:
hi
e says:
hi lady and baby
Mush Mook says:
zygote, really
e says:
yep
e says:
baby zygote
e says:
how are you?
Mush Mook says:
hmm
Mush Mook says:
good
Mush Mook says:
spotting a tiny bit, so worried, but trying not to be worried… you know
e says:
oh, yes.
e says:
don’t worry
Mush Mook says:
the exact opposite of how you think you’re gonna be
Mush Mook says:
yeah, it’s supposed to be normal
e says:
new and interesting?
Mush Mook says:
I’m stressed out, I want to cry
Mush Mook says:
sigh
e says:
awww
e says:
sweetie
Mush Mook says:
I’m worried it won’t stick, and then people will be sad
Mush Mook says:
like brett and his mom
Mush Mook says:
🙁
e says:
oh, don’t worry about THAT!
Mush Mook says:
that’s what I’m worrying about
e says:
THAT’s not for YOU to worry about
Mush Mook says:
hmm
e says:
it’s all about YOU!
e says:
forget everybody else
e says:
you don’t OWE anybody ANYthing!
e says:
it’s only for you!
e says:
you you you!
Mush Mook says:
everybody else CARES though, and they’re such nice people
Mush Mook says:
I’m having hormones
e says:
but YOU!
e says:
it’s only for you.
Mush Mook says:
ME is HAVING HORMONES
Mush Mook says:
ugh
e says:
BUT! what you are feeling is valid.
Mush Mook says:
sniff
e says:
just not necessary.
e says:
🙂
Mush Mook says:
yeah, I’m valid, just crazy
Mush Mook says:
hehe
e says:
e says:
love!
Mush Mook says:
ack
Mush Mook says:
I just feel worried and like crying
e says:
hang in there, lady
Mush Mook says:
everything so contradictory
e says:
it’ll all be new and interesting tomorrow too
e says:
and the next day
e says:
and the next
e says:
or so i hear
e says:
xoxo
Mush Mook says:
“During the third embryonal week, it’s not unusual to experience spotting, or light vaginal bleeding.”
Mush Mook says:
then they say…
Mush Mook says:
“Vaginal bleeding during pregnancy may be the first warning sign of a miscarriage.”
e says:
“…and you’ll be fucking OUT_OF_YOUR_MIND!”
e says:
oh, isn’t that comforting of them.
Mush Mook says:
basically, bleeding is normal, it means either you’re going to have your period soon, or you’re going to have your period… in about a year
Mush Mook says:
e says:
Mush Mook says:
ugh
Mush Mook says:
I think I’m too crazy, I must be knocked up still
Mush Mook says:
I JUST WANT NO MORE SPOTTING
—
Mush Mook says:
Brett said “goodbye, child” to my abdomen this morning when leaving for work
e says:
i’m sorry you feel sniffly today. i hope your spotting goes away and you feel snickerly soon.
Mush Mook says:
“Bye wife, bye child!”
e says:
yes
e says:
that’s too cute
e says:
he’s such a big softy
Mush Mook says:
he’s a dork
Mush Mook says:
I told him so myself
e says:
lol
Mush Mook says:
he’s sooooo happy about the whole thing, I could just puke
Mush Mook says:
sad thing is: it makes him horny
e says:
lol
Mush Mook says:
but I’m not friendly
e says:
lollol
e says:
lol
Mush Mook says:
I’m like, YOU’VE DONE YOUR WORK HERE ALREADY, MOTHERFUCKER
Mush Mook says:
hehe
e says:
lol
Mush Mook says:
he’s stoked
Mush Mook says:
he’s all ready to be a birth assistant and do it at home
e says:
you guys are just too damn cute
e says:
i love it
Mush Mook says:
I’m like, whoa
Mush Mook says:
home?
Mush Mook says:
here?
e says:
wow
Mush Mook says:
this house is a mess!
Mush Mook says:
I think I want to go to Washington, really
Mush Mook says:
I’m not sure I’m ready to deliver in a construction zone, right?
e says:
yes
e says:
but home would be nice too
Mush Mook says:
yeah
—
Mush Mook says:
this is a dumb idea altogether
Mush Mook says:
I think BRETT should do this instead of me
Mush Mook says:
he’s stronger anyway
Mush Mook says:
hehe
—
Mush Mook says:
I’m, like, X likely to miscarry
Mush Mook says:
buh
e says:
even weird know-nothing women, like ME!
Mush Mook says:
or, women who X are X% likely to miscarry if X
e says:
who know so many things!
Mush Mook says:
numbers
Mush Mook says:
the answer is: uh, we don’t know. wait and see.
e says:
yep
Mush Mook says:
totally
Mush Mook says:
so, that’s what you do
Mush Mook says:
but YOU’RE TOO CRAZY TO DO THAT!!
Mush Mook says:
fuck, it’s only 11
Mush Mook says:
WHY ISN’T IT LUNCH YET?!?!
Mush Mook says:
I’m leaving
Mush Mook says:
no, not really
Oh, dear, I perceive every feeling as cramping! I don’t want to bleed! Stay, baby, stay.
—–
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