In which I love them but they’re totally exhausting.
When I got home from work last night, the house had been verily overrun by persons sharing my genetic material. It was insane: aunts, uncles, cousins, even a brother – they were all over the place.
We ate on the patio. There was a bucket of KFC (I avoided it), sweet corn, and potato salad. There were three half-gallons of ice cream (I avoided them, too). I wasn’t hungry but I ate anyway because G’ma told me to and I know better than to argue.
I dutifully brought out three cameras to take the Four Generation photo below (an Argus C3, the Polaroid Land 103, and my cell phone):
It was already too dark out for the C3, but I shot a frame anyway. The Polaroid came out technically nice (I LOVE HAVING A BAG FULL OF FLASH BULBS!!!) but only one of my subjects was actually looking at the camera at the time. (Several other family members took the same picture, so I’m sure at least one of them came out.)
I did the dishes afterward (for which my uncle Blue gave me a quarter and told me I was “a good kid”). I tidied up the kitchen. I took out the trash.
Later I escaped into my room, but my aunt came and found me. We talked until a quarter to twelve, yawning and blinking. I finally had to tell her I had to get some sleep. I crashed out so hard that seven o’clock arrived pretty much instantly.
This morning I had girl-cousins on the living room couches, an aunt in the front room, and a G’ma about to leave town for a week giving me lists of things to do while she’s gone. Apparently I’ll be watering the plant on the front porch daily, bringing in the mail, getting my brother to mow the back yard once it stops raining, and eating two large tomatoes and half a loaf of bread. You know, before they go bad.
But all chores aside, I have the whole house to myself for an entire week! Ah, blessed solitude, I shall bask in your silence. And run around nekkid.
One Response to Aaaaaaaand family descends upon the place like locusts.
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Revel in the solitude of the empty house; it’s awesome stuff. I see you’ve been programmed to do dishes too. Man, every time I’m at a family function I end up washing the dishes without even realizing… like some dormant programming kicks in and the next thing I know I’m up to my elbows in suds.
They indoctrinate us when we’re too little to resist! -m