In which I make a list.

Since I’m in the second half now, I should start establishing baselines. Don’t you think that’s wise? I haven’t had a regular doctor since I had a pediatrician, so no one really knows what typical or normal readings are for me.

I’ve decided to choose a GP more or less at random and go in for a meet-and-greet and suffer through a basic checkup. Because when I’m sitting in front of a doctor I always feel fine and I forget all the things I wanted to cover, I’ve decided to make a list so I can get everything on the table in the six-to-twelve minutes of actual facetime I’ll get:

OVERALL
health is ok
appetite is good, digestion is good
sleep is good
overall attitude is good

DIET/EXERCISE
vegetarian – diet: protein, iron, etc.
supplements – none but the occasional Emergen-C
sedentary lifestyle – sit at a desk 40+ a week: exercise – adequate amount is?
weight – so this is 40, right?

GENERAL ISSUES
menstrual – spotting (rollerball ablation 2007), monthly fatigue/moodiness
water retention! – heat? age? diet? tingles?
shortness of breath – seems to be chiropractic (old bed)
drinking – has been heavy for a couple of years, now cutting back: issues, advice, lectures?
caffeine – 1 cup a day, sometimes two: fine, right?

PARTICULAR FOCUS
smoking – need help to quit
panic attacks – are infrequent, but can be depressing: had a really uncomfortable arrhythmia episode that lasted several hours on 7/31. help for management? is the arrhythmia significant?

My goals are to: “have a doctor” because I don’t have one to call when I want cough syrup in the depths of a shitty cold; have my panic and arrhythmia documented and maybe get script for Xanax or something to take during those three or four panic attacks a year that are TOTALLY FUCKING MISERABLE (like the one I’m having today); get support, preferably chemical, in Operation: Quit Smoking (Because As Much As You Enjoy It, There’s The Toxicity To Consider); and set baselines for all my vitals. All my shit falls within normal, of course, but I’d like to have normal-for-me documented as I forge bravely into midlife! (Also, I want to have something more than Bindu’s file and my dental X-rays to carry with me the next time I move. Seriously. When I left Iowa that’s all I had with me in the way of medical documentation. Which is good, in the sense that it means I’ve enjoyed great health, but bad in the sense that it means NO ONE WILL PRESCRIBE ME CODEINE COUGH SYRUP WHEN I WANT IT!)

No, no, no, my babies, this post doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten my self-help roo herb tea-drinkin’ New Age roots or that I’ve fallen for Big Medicine’s line. It just means that I’m 40 and sometimes I want some goddamned Xanax or cough syrup to go with my yoga and meditation, goddammit.