In which I go off on the states at the lower corners.

Dear California and Florida,

What is wrong with you people? You just passed legislation that may have nullified what were legal marriages only yesterday. What the fuck for? Are you really that threatened by your gay neighbors being able to, I don’t know, do something utterly fringe and bizarre like put each other on their health insurance policies?

What you’ve done is stupid. Let me explain it like this: What if gays became the majority and decided to vote against your marriages? What if you woke up one morning to discover that the law had nullified your partnership? Well, you’d say ‘we still have our love and each other’ and you’d soldier on, right? But what if you couldn’t go to the hospital and make decisions about your dying wife’s treatment because, hey, you’re not really her husband any longer. What then?

On the one hand, marriage is a spiritual state and law can’t affect it. Any two creatures living in a state of marriage are married whether the law recognizes them or not. But. Marriage is also a legal state, and taking it away from any sector of the population because you think you know what God wants is just plain obscene to me.

Oh, oh, oh, but wait! If we’re defining marriage by its output, if we’re really saying that “only a relationship that can produce children should be called marriage,” then when are we going to start taking marriage rights away from barren couples? Because clearly if you can’t conceive it means your marriage is not sanctified in the eyes of God, right? I mean, isn’t that what you’re saying here? That you know what God wants? And God wants you to be married even if you can’t have babies but not them even if they adopt?

Considering how many unwanted children are out there, I’d think the nation would embrace gay marriage if only to save on welfare funding.

You have to understand that I’m actually anti-marriage in general, but I think everyone should be able to marry if they wish. I tried it myself once and thought it was stupid; I think the whole idea is antiquated and dumb. I don’t think anybody should ever get married. But I know that people will get married, and I also know that married people enjoy all kinds of rights that singles don’t. Even their taxes are lower.

There is no rational reason to legally define marriage as “a union between a man and a woman” except to be a creep. If you’re Christian, you’re going against your own scripture to deliver hurt where none was required. Furthermore, you’re doing it at random: don’t you realize your scripture not only condemns homosexuality, but also says “the faithful are required to kill people who refuse to listen to priests (Deuteronomy), kill fortune-tellers and homosexuals (Leviticus), kill adulterers (Leviticus) wipe out an entire city if a single person in it worships a ‘false god’ (Deuteronomy), kill people who work on the Sabbath (Exodus), kill your family and friends if their religious views differ from your own (Deuteronomy) and so the list goes, in a long crimson stretch of barbarism including death for blasphemers and women who aren’t virgins on their wedding nights” (passage stolen gratefully from Trent). How can you stand your crazy selves? Don’t you know that if you oppose homosexuality by your own lights you should be killed if you’ve ever worked a sabbath?!

I’m so pissed I could just spit. I’m going to shut up now and send you here because I’m too pissed to be rational and he already said it better.

Sincerely,
Mush