In which suddenly I’m taking half the week off from work.
This morning I had a follow-up consultation with my doctor at 8:30.
My surgery is scheduled for the day after tomorrow! Ack!
I can’t eat anything after five on Tuesday, nor drink anything after midnight. I report to the hospital at six o’clock in the morning, for an 8 o’clock surgery to remove the tumor and do an ablation. They’re going to put me all the way under. Barring complications, I should be home in my own bed by two in the afternoon.
When all is said and done, I may find myself in debt to the tune six or eight grand… or maybe less. [You almost win, dad. Thank God I didn’t take you up on your bet.] I have applications – from both the doctor’s office and the hospital – that may give me a 40% discount from the former and up to 100% off of the latter’s invoices if I can prove myself to be poor enough. (I imagine I’ll be paying the anesthesiologist whatever s/he charges, because that bill will come from yet a third entity and I haven’t had anyone tell me to talk to that financial advisor.) Three bills for one procedure.
Most frustrating is that they can’t even tell me in advance exactly what it will cost. Until I get all my paperwork in, they can’t tell me what they’ll be charging me because the fees slide based on income. It’s all terribly vague, but apparently they’ll let me make payments. And the surgery has to be done, so one plunges onward in spite of obstacles.
I had to give blood and pee in a cup this morning. They poked me in the arm with a needle before I was even completely awake, which while necessary was rather rude of them, I thought. I also had to read a lot of forms and sign things and see two different financial counselors in two buildings. All before my eggs and toast with tea and milk.
I’m stoked about the ablation, because it means my periods will be lighter, or, perhaps, if I’m lucky, non-existent. Non-existent! Can you imagine?!? NO BLEEDING AT ALL!!! {cue: snoopy dance}
Let me tell you, the idea makes me positively giddy. No more eight or nine day-long periods. No more hideous flooding when I stand up after sitting for awhile. No more clotting! No more panic attacks from the fear of bleeding to death! I realize it sounds strange, but I really couldn’t be more excited about getting the lining of my uterus sanded out! (Fuck menstruation! It sucks.)
Okay, so they don’t really sandblast the uterine lining, they cauterize it with hot water. Whatever. Point is, relief from the hell I’ve been going though! Hurrah! {cue: ticker tape parade and dancing in the streets}
The idea of going under anesthesia freaks me out, of course, because someone has to be a member of that statistically significant set who never wakes up… though I suppose I won’t know if I don’t wake up, so maybe it’s no big deal. Also, it’s totally gross to think of one’s body as a non-conscious piece of meat in surgery, lying there all flaccid and inert while strangers do weird things to it. (Eewh! I’ve just grossed myself out. Heh.) I’ve decided not to think about it any more.
Long story short, I’ll be lying around in bed all day on Thursday and Friday, waiting for my liver to clear the drugs out of my blood. Y’all should call me and tell me jokes! I like jokes.
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Oh I’m so happy you’re finally getting this problem solved! Yay!! But I must tell you that when first read “ablation” I thought “oblation” and then my brain went into a tailspin trying to figure out why you were doing that in the hospital and why you had misspelled it…. Good thing you put a link there or I might still be spinning. đŸ˜‰
Love you!
V
Now I’m confused. I’ve never heard the word oblation. Love you too! -m
You would rather be awake and watch it?? Lying as an inert piece of meat is preferable in my book. It is great, actually. I wish they’d knock me out for for my dental cleanings.
I’m so happy your bleeding problem will soon be solved. You put up with it way too long. Hang in there, Mush!
It’s not like I’m into pain or anything, but I’ve never been under and the idea freaks me out. I mean, that shit’s dangerous! *shudder* -m
So while your out why don’t you astral project and come on over for a visit. I’m working for the Presbytery of New York, its a trip you’d like it. Is it a date? Ok, see you Wednesday morning….
smooches
That is a great idea! I’ll see you then! -m
Yeeks. Good luck. Come back.
I agree. Thank you. I will. *smooch* -m
Crackers almighty! I’ll be thinkin’ of you, Mush. But the after effects sound MARVelous!! (And here I was bitching and moaning yesterday when I had to go in for my yearly pap.)
Paps suck. They claim you can’t feel it, but I certainly can. Apparently I have non-standard nerve endings. -m
When I was 18, I was put completely under for the removal of my wisdom teeth, and it was no big deal. Coming out of it was like waking up from really deep, dull sleep. For my colonoscopy a few years ago, they used a combo of Versed and Demerol, which apparently leaves one alert and responsive to requests to move the body’s position, but the Versed makes you forget the entire procedure ever took place. Yay for drugs!
I only got Valium for my wisdom teeth extraction, but I had lots of fun. And alert-and-responsive-but-out-of-it sounds really, really dirty. đŸ˜‰ -m
I’ll be sending lots of happy thoughts your way. smooches
And, hey, while you’re astral projecting to NY, swing by here, m’kay? Not that far, and definitely worth the trip.
Okay! Where’s your office? Is it easy to find? -m
Hang in there kid – you’ll pull through like the champ you are!
xoxoxo
*smooch* -m
When I woke up from sodium pentathol years ago, I started spouting dirty nursery rhymes.
“Mary had a little lamb, and that’s what she gets for sleeping in the barn”, and others, even dirtier. I think you should do that. Yeah.
Why are you not having a hysterectomy? Seems to me you’ll have to do this over and over if not. That organ is out to get you. Get it first.
Why were you on sodium pentathol, please? And because I can’t afford to have it removed. That procedure starts at twenty grand. -m
We’ll be sending our love your way. I just had surgery on Friday and it went off without a hitch. I think they’ve made big improvements on the anesthesia thing. When I was younger it made me really sick but this time I was feeling pretty good a couple of hours after I was awake.
Wow, glad to hear you’re fine after your surgery. Thanks for the encouragement. *smooch* -m
oh happy news!! i get thunderbird mail client and you get surgery that might mean the end of your period! actually, i was this excited when i got the hernia repaired. it was so nice to not have my guts try to fit through a hole in my belly.
i’ll be sending reiki energy for you tonight and throughout tomorrow. i’d text you jokes, but i don’t have your phone number and i don’t think you’ll want to laugh a whole lot after having that surgery.
anyways, good luck and all that stuff. pinch a nurse’s bum for me, would ya?
LOL – I’ll try to remember! (Note to self: pinch nursebutt. Pinch nursebutt.) -m
I am so happy you are able to take care of this so fast! Feel free to call me and I’ll tell you silly animal stories.