In which I’m SO GLAD I’m not still with the man.

When I got home from work this evening, The Ex was sitting at the laptop in the living room. Truck was in the bathroom with the door open doing something with his face, and AmmZon was standing around. The Ex was bitching because he was trying to buy tickets online from Ticketmonster and having no luck.

Naturally, I tried to help. It’s my nature. (Having a technical problem with the Internet? Let me help! I can do it! Me, me, ME!)

I sat down in his place and ordered the tickets for him. The whole thing went smoothly and I accomplished in three minutes what he hadn’t been able to accomplish in half an hour. With her permission I used AmmZon’s account, and at his direction I set the tickets for will call because the event is this weekend. He gave AmmZon cash for the use of her credit card.

THEN he remembers that only the card holder can pick up tickets at will call. And he starts to freak out and vibe like a bastard.

And a half hour of total fucking moody bullshit ensues.

I try to use the Ticketmaster web site – which is such a poorly designed piece of shit I can’t even describe it to you – to find out what their will call regulations are. The ‘net connection is excruciatingly slow. Apparently one can designate another party to pick up will call tickets. I submit a help ticket through AmmZon’s account requesting he be allowed to get the tickets at will call.

I announce that we’ll have to wait until AmmZon gets the return email from the help ticket to learn the resolution.

The Ex starts to vibe like shit and is insisting that AmmZon call her credit card company and cancel the order. He knows they’ll never let him pick up the tickets, not even with a copy of AmmZon’s credit card. Just cancel the fucking order, he says. It’s total bullshit, fuck this noise, he wants his money back. It all sucks and he’s pissed off and just fuck it.

I murmur to AmmZon, “Thank God I’m not still with that man.” She says, “Yeah, no shit,” and goes out the front door to call her credit card company.

Her credit card company says they can’t cancel the order and that she has to call Ticketmaster.

The Ex announces he’s “not going to pay for tickets he can’t use.” I tell him that he already did. He argues with me. I point out that if there’s no way to cancel the order, it’s just tough shit because he’s already paid AmmZon.

So AmmZon tries to call Ticketmaster, but the auto attendant tells her she can’t talk to a real human being at that number. I pull out my phone and 411 the Ticketmaster office in Des Moines (because it’s almost impossible to find useful phone numbers on the Ticketmaster web site) and I hand my cell to AmmZon. She navigates the auto attendant. I read at the Ticketmaster site that there are no cancellations or refunds, period, end of story, and The Ex becomes even more incensed – he says this is all my fault for PLACING THE ORDER EXACTLY THE WAY HE TOLD ME TO – and he and I start to fight. AmmZon leaves the room in a huff so she can hear her damned phone call.

Finally I get back into the Ticketmaster help system, and learn that the solution is to order the tickets-by-email for an additional $1.75 and to simply print the tickets out. AmmZon’s learning the same information over the phone.

In the end, The Ex gives AmmZon an additional two bucks in cash for the tix-by-email option, and she’s going to print out his eTickets tomorrow. Problem solved. After 45 minutes of total scrambling and listening to him fucking bitch and moan.

What a fucking pain in the ass. I haven’t been that irritated and pissed off over nothing since I moved out of that man’s house! Some folks might say it’s karma between us, but I say fuck that. He’s got a lousy temper and no patience and he’s just rude, and that’s just that. He never even thanked us for getting him his stupid tickets, just drove off in his truck!

I am so pro-divorce right now I can’t even TELL you. Now, please do excuse me while I go have a much needed after work COCKTAIL, ALREADY.