In which I have neither, and it’s bummin’ me out.

January is half-over. The spectre of that 1st of February deadline looms ever-nearer, and I still don’t have a job or a place to live lined up.

I have not received any response whatsoever from the last eight resumes I sent out. I do not understand why it has gone out of vogue to REPLY TO AN APPLICANT and let her know what the fuck she can expect in the way of a time frame. I don’t know if these places actually received my applications; I do not know if they have a close date; I do not know if they’ve filled the position. Feels like I’m dropping my resumes into a black hole.

Today I applied online for a job… at a gas station. (Yes, that’s what I’m looking at: trying to work swing shift in a convenience store.) The online application contained a six-minute IQ test; knowing these things to be geared at idiots I took the test slowly, and it timed out on the final question. This made me suspect that I’m an idiot.

I would have applied at Hy-Vee and EconoFoods, too, but they’re not hiring.

As for housing, my current roommates and three other friends have invited me to crash with them for a bit but I can’t decide where to stay.

I had decided not to move with AmmZon and Truck because I will (hopefully) be moving into my own apartment in the near future, and I didn’t want them to rent a place depending on me for my financial input. Also, I’m in a phase of life wherein I hate all couples: I hate listening to them bitch at each other, and I hate listening to them get along. (All couples drive me nuts lately. It’s not them, it’s me. I just hate couplehood these days.) Another couple offered me a room in their place for the few weeks I’ll need… and a few nights later they had a huge fight while I was there and I started to think, “What if they do this even more frequently than my current roommates do? Will I go totally batshit?” (In defense of my current roommates, they claim they don’t fight and that they get along great. This may mean that I’m currently incapable of properly parsing male-female interaction.)

The other places I’ve been offered are rooms in the homes of single males. I could resort to one of these options to avoid the couplehood issues, but to be utterly honest I’m not enamored of the idea of using a man’s bathroom. Even if only for a month.

The bottom line is that it seems like I really need to get my own place — like I’m finally ready to get my own place — but I don’t have that elusive job… and I wonder if I can even get utilities in my own name, considering the difficulty AmmZon’s having and my own utterly fucked up credit rating.

Please, Universe, I need a job!