In which you get a glimpse into my home life.
I just had the following conversation with my roommate and longtime friend, Truck:
Me: Did you hear that? Is someone here?
Truck: I think it’s the neighbors. Or maybe it’s Floyd [AmmZon’s pop] and he wants us to let him watch porn.
Me: I just can’t seem to convince him that it’s wrong to watch porn with one’s offspring.
Truck: Well, he didn’t get to know her until she was all growed up, so maybe that’s it.
Me: Still, you just can’t watch porn with your children.
Truck: So true.
Me: I wouldn’t watch porn with either of my parents! You’re not supposed to watch porn with relatives. Well, maybe with an aunt I might, but not an uncle. Maybe a cousin, but not my brother. It’s just not right.
Truck: I’m gonna have kids specifically to watch porn with them.
Me: Good idea.
Truck: I never wanted kids until right now.
Me: It happens suddenly like that sometimes.
Truck: “Come in here and watch porn with daddy.”
Me: You’re supposed to have kids so they’ll do stuff for you. Like get you a beer, or find the remote, or work the family farm. So you should have kids so they can make porn for you.
Truck: Good idea. “Go make daddy some porn!”
Turns out that someone was here and it was indeed Floyd, but he didn’t want to watch porn after all. He just wanted to borrow five bucks.
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parents and porn really shouldn’t mix.
or kids and porn.
some porn is to blame for having the kids in the first place, but really, that’s as far as it should go.
So the equation is porn = population, then? -m
watching porn with kids ranks right up there with imagining your parents in the throes of passion, yelling things like, “yes! harder!” or something like that.
somehow hearing “go make daddy some porn!” has the similar ring as “go get me something to beat you with!” (quote from bill cosby)
i’m glad he only wanted money.
Ewh! No one wants to think about their parents going at it. Ewh! I mean, we’re all glad they did because we’re here, but still. Ewh! -m
Oh so many thoughts. 1 – How redneck could a conversation get {G} 2 – Y’all need to get a life 3 – Makes for a funny line, one that could be used for a tremendous amount of satire, or a really twisted fantasy scene 3- How many boundaries can one cross in a day {LOL}
1. Exactly this redneck. 2. Totally. 3. Oh yes. 4. Many. -m
Oh the number of parenting book authors who would have cardiac arrests during this post is worth the horror of the conversation.
I know, isn’t it *wonderful*?! -m
I’ve never authored a parenting book, nor do I have children. But, damnit, my southern sensibilities are indeed telling me to have a heart-attack at this instant!
Do it! Defibrillators are hot! -m
I love this conversation. Seriously, this is the stuff sitcoms are made of. The good ones, anyway.
Dude, I would totally watch a show with dialog like what I got all up in my house, yo! -m
I am not even going to begin to point out the things that were extremely disturbing about this post.
I will point out the most disturbing though. People made porn and didn’t ask me. Boo hoo hoo!
Next time, we’ll have our people call your people. And we’ll even get you a super hot fluffer. -m
I tremble to imagine the key words that will now lead people to your blog…
“I caught my wife fucking my horse” is, was, and ALWAYS WILL BE the best search string to bring someone here to the ‘box. I’m sure the poor dude was deeply disappointed. -m
i feel utterly tainted from reading that exchange. *shivering*
Mmm, good. I want you ALL to feel diiiiirty. -m
honey, you’ve been tagged for a meme. i’m mean, i know. the rules are at my blog.
Okay, I’ll go check it out! -m