In which I contemplate a road trip I can’t afford.

I’m feeling better… physically. My snot’s clearing up, and I don’t ache all over. I talked with AmmZon about getting fired via email yesterday, and she sniffed and said what everyone will probably say, which was something along the lines of, “Well, ya really can’t mix business and friendship.”

I’m still feeling damn stupid, though. I felt the same way when the ISP laid me off, and that one wasn’t my fault at all — they were just cutting back. This time though, I suppose it was my fault: I apparently misunderstood what was wanted of me and gave the impression that I was a flake.

Oh well. Maybe I am. But I suppose it serves me right, for taking a job I found in a bar. Also, I know better than to assume that I can behave the same way other people do in a company: when you’re the new girl, you toe the line. Period. Pay your dues. Regardless. I should have been a Nazi about office hours, because I hadn’t been specifically told to work any other way; I just assumed because that’s what everyone else was doing. I watched their behavior — checking in via the Internet at all hours, loose on being in the office itself — and copied it. Not what was wanted. I wish they’d said something before terminating me, though.

Baby Girl told me over the phone to quit beating myself up about it; she thinks I should have gotten a warning first and that I’m not allowed to feel like a shithead any longer. I was only employed seven days, fer chrissake. If I felt any better I’d go and let her buy me the drink she offered me, bless her heart.

Anyway, the point is that what I really want to do is throw my stuff and my dog in the jeep and go see my mommy. She lives in Laramie. It’s probably a 10-hour drive from here. It’s not like I could live there; there’s probably even less work there than there is here. But it’d be nice if I wasn’t mooching off of my friends for awhile; it’d be a pleasant change to mooch off of family instead.

In other news, I’m still in love with All Consuming.