In which I’m kind of sad.
I did a bunch of moping while AmmZon was in Indy visiting Truck. I mean, I went out a few times, but I stayed in more and layed around feeling blue. The weather is changing and I’m feeling that annual malaise. Coupled with the rest of the shit, I was feeling really down. I’m going to turn 38 in a couple of weeks, and what have I got to show for my life thus far? Gack. I’m basically homeless, jobless, and facing the biggest debt I’ve ever had.
I was also thinking about the marriage. My feelings still stand, but sitting on AmmZon’s porch the other night in the dark and chill, listening to the sounds of the neighborhood snuggling itself in for the night made me feel lonely and sad. I thought about being alone all winter and it ached. Fuck, but this process sucks.
The good news is that soup season has started. I made broccoli-cheddar soup for AmmZon when she got back yesterday, and her dad ate the rest of it last night. Today for lunch I made them potato leek soup. I love soup. Mmm, soup.
The data entry gig at WGI seems to have dried up. I came in today at S’s request to see if he had anything for me to do and he didn’t. (I’m using their computer to blog and check my email, though.) He asked me to check in again tomorrow, but I don’t know if I will. I’m wondering if he’s basically done with me but doesn’t want to say? I mean, it’s okay — I understood this to be a temp thing. I’d like to stay here because I like the people and I can bring my dog in to sleep under my desk, but if there’s no job for me then there’s no job for me.
In other news, if you’ve asked me to call you and I haven’t it’s because my phone’s dead and I don’t have a charger for it. I guess I’ll drive out to the farm and charge it and get some other things taken care of while I’m out there.
Right now I have to go move the jeep before I get a parking ticket. Think I’ll drop back by Iowa workforce and see if my dream job has suddenly shown up in the database.
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soup rocks! ROCKS, I tell you!
good luck with the job hunt! sending you many many happy *smooches*
Damn, enviroboi stole my line. I think I’ll pout. Nonetheless, I do like homemade soup.
This winter? It could be something to look forward to. I mean, maybe by then you’ll be all set up in your place with THE job. Then we can chat when you get home from work about…
I know, soup! (And cocktails, of course. Oh, and damned men!)
Love ya, babe.
Ah, Mushy… you are still the coolest no matter what.
i love your soups! i was always amazed with them.
now i’m hungry….
fall is coming, the leaves on my tree are turning already!
You always manages to see a little bit of a silver lining and if that’s soup then it’s soup. Enjoy. Still….thinking….of….you….in…NYC…
It *will* all come right … hang in there.
Hey sweetie… haven’t dropped by in awhile. I wish there was something I could do, but it just takes Time.
You don’t know me from Adam, but speaking from experience, actually a lot worse then yours, it does get better. It just takes time, sometimes longer than you would like. You know this, you’re not naive. It just seems like when you get older you don’t bounce back as fast as you would like.
Trust me, you will have a home you love, a great job, it’s just down the road. The one thing you do have is good friends, they are very hard to come by. Soon enough you will be telling everyone how wonderful your life is. Hard to believe now but true. 🙂