In which I lament the lack of good content here on the ‘box.

All I ever do anymore is bitch. Gone are my scathingly funny posts about the quirks of life in rural BFE and my amusing observations about my favorite subject, me. Remember when I used to post about tanning (“If you’re gonna be fat, you might as well be tanned!”), and my amazing manicures? Those were the days! I bet you loved me then. I know I did.

Heh. Ahem.

Well, lately nearly my entire awareness is on the negative. I’m broke, I’m bummed, my dogs have fleas, I got pulled over last night because my car’s so dirty from driving on gravel that my license plate light is totally obscured, and my cat is a full-on kitchen murderer.

[Meaning he does murder IN the kitchen, not that he does murder ON the kitchen. I’m not certain that you could kill a kitchen. They’ve got lots of sharp, blunt, and nasty implements in them and might beat you at your own game.]

The cop didn’t believe me when I said the light probably wasn’t out, but was just dirty. He took my license back to write me a fix-it ticket, and actually checked. Yes, the light’s there, it’s just that the cover is a quarter inch thick with gravel dust so the light doesn’t shine out. I got pulled over a year ago for the same reason, I explained. He bid me have a good night. Nice boy… for a cop. I mean, I guess I don’t generally mind them as individuals, but as a group they get sketchy and do shit like eat donuts and kill people.

Now, where the hell was I? Oh, yeah: I just balanced my fucking checkbook:

Hubby has the debit card and used it once too often; I forgot to cancel the damned TMobile Hotspot account so they just charged me $39.99 I don’t have; the vet clinic is going to want another ~$200 when I go to pick Stella up this afternoon; and I just realized I forgot to make the truck payment this month. Paying the truck payment, combined with whatever pittance I give the vet, will leave me with… nothing. Even though friends and family gave me $300 in the past few days.

If there was any order in the universe I’d be flush.

Oh, AND our latest cell phone bill was astro-fucking-nomical. I called Cingular, and it turns out that not only did we go crazy bad way over on our minutes, but they’d been charging all three lines for services like “roadside assistance” and “*08 voice,” none of which we ordered. The CSR removed these services from the account, but wouldn’t refund me the amount already billed.

I told BoSe, and he got all up on the phone about it with the store where we bought our phones, and now apparently I, as the account holder, have to call customer service back and request to speak with a manager and demand they give us our money back. My phone just died, though, so I have to go get the charger…

Hey now. Lest all this whining should give you the idea I’m a big fat complainer, you should know that I’m actually a card-carrying glass-is-half-full person. Really. I am. But I’ve never been this broke in my life and it’s really beginning to freak me the fuck OUT. I checked on my UI benefits an hour ago and the automated system still reports zero benefits — which means they haven’t corrected the severance pay error yet — thus no check in the mail for moi this week! Argh!

The cell phone company rep nicely agreed to credit the charges back to the account, so now we only owe… $265.03. Christ. And yes, before you suggest it, I did increase our plan to the next level to avoid this kind of utter bullshit next month. Christ! How could we all have forgotten to check our minutes?!

*bangs head on desk*

Good thing I’ve an indominitable spirit… and that my superhero power is the blessed oblivion of napping. A power I may just go indulge in right now, because one has no problems when she’s asleep.