In which it was really totally icky and gross! Ewh, ewh, EWH! EWH!

I went into my kitchen yesterday and something… horrible… had transpired.

I really can’t even put it together, even with the circumstantial evidence. I mean, there was some… fluid… on the counter that looked like the kind of fluid that really needs to be INSIDE of something, like, permanently. The kind of fluid that only gets outside if you’re, like, totally dead or something.

Oh, and there it is. The totally dead or something. I have no idea how it got quite THERE, exactly. Perhaps the cat ate it, and then, well, and I know this sounds far-fetched, but bear with me: perhaps the cat sat on the counter, just so, at the very edge, and, I don’t know, PUKED down into the water bowl on the floor and half missed?

The point being that on the OTHER counter, not the one with the puddle of mystery internal fluid but the other one, was a single drop of blood the size of a nickel. And below that counter, half in and half ON the stainless steel dog water bowl, were the bloody internal remains of… something.

The thing was so dead and so totally apart that I couldn’t even identify it.

Guts, floating in the water bowl. SO FUCKING GROSS. EWH!

I had to pick that bowl up and take it outside and dump it in a ditch. And then I had to clean up the counter. And the other counter. And several sketchy-looking places on the floor.

And when I was done, with my nose all wrinkled up and everything, the cat, Buz, in his little-girl voice, said, “Meow?” and polished my ankles, purring.

Purring!

He’s such a liar, that innocent-looking cat with his little-girl voice. Meow my ass. He totally and without shame wreaked deathly, bleeding havoc IN THE ROOM WHERE I COOK MY FOOD!

In other news, I have an interview tomorrow morning at 10:30 and then I’m going over to WG because apparently they’ve got a data entry project I can do. Yay!