In which I feel rather taciturn about good news, given the run of things lately.

The bad news is that [a] I’m not eligible for unemployment benefits until the last day of the month and [b] my benefits, when they start coming in mid-August, will be a whopping $164 per week. I suppose I can go on food stamps for a couple of weeks if I have to.

The good news is that I might — might — get hired to do software training for WGC, which is a gig that pays remarkably well. (Like, ‘that’s kinda weird’ well. Like, ‘what’s wrong with the gig that you have to pay that much?’ well.) I interviewed with SF yesterday, and this morning he talked to my guys in Indy. Bread called me to tell me the good news while BoSe was on the other line with SF, and then I called SF back right away but he hasn’t returned my calls.

From what Bread told me, I may end up going out on some day claims next week, then go through two weeks of adjuster training to get certified, and then find myself in front of a class of baby adjusters teaching them Xactimate. Apparently they have a hard time keeping instructors because they’re always running off to do CAT adjusting somewhere, and because most people don’t like standing in front of people. As a geek and a performer, teaching software sounds fantastic to me, but what do I know.

More bad news is that my period is coming, so I’ll probably end up flat on my ass in hideous pain for two or three days in the very near future. Hopefully the timing won’t fuck me for this possible teaching gig. Of course, Bread now has the laptop, so that might fuck me on this gig too.

And, if all that didn’t suck enough, I balanced my checkbook and even though I’ve been really careful about Not Spending Money — please note that I have no onions, or laundry detergent, or even coffee — I no longer have enough in the account to cover the mortgage when it comes due on the first. I guess I didn’t really think I’d be able to, not really, not with gas at three bucks a gallon and having to eat and all, but still. I’d kinda hoped.

So, to recap: I’m flat broke. Bread won’t get paid for another two weeks. I have no money coming in. From my two interviews this week, I got a “we’re not hiring,” and a guy who told someone other than myself that he might be able to hire me but I’d have to do some non-paying shit for an unspecified amount of time first before I’ll ever see a check. Also: I live alone way out in the country and am spending far too much time by myself, and my period is coming. And I feel sorry for myself. And the satellite is off, and I don’t even have any movies to watch. Yeah, I think that about covers the situation. Suffice it to say that I’ve felt sunnier.

On the flip side, though, and I’m nothing if not a blessings-counter, I do have most of a bottle of cheap vodka and some lemons, the animals have enough food for a few more days, and I’m back on the Internet. (I forked over the money to get the land line reactivated, because a girl can’t job hunt without being able to get online to check the Iowa job db and to email resumes.) So at least I can see all your awesome, wonderful comments here on the ‘box, and that makes me feel really good. I love you guys, I really do. I’ll try to get caught up on your comments and your blogs this weekend.

But first? I have to go scrounge something to eat out of my pantry. Something that doesn’t require onions. Gah. Vegetarian cooking, without onions? Can’t even make soup without onions! I’ll probably end up eating a box of macaroni and cheese. Crap.

Update: I had one of my favorite weird meals: hash browns and gravy. (And a side salad, featuring cukes AmmZon grew her very own self.) I make amazing vegetarian gravy, I really do. I’d never server hash browns and gravy as a meal to anyone else, it’s just too weird. No ‘main dish’. But hell, I’m alone, who’s to see what weird shit I eat? And now I’m having a lemondrop. Yum. Happy tummy. And I found my copy of Contact; if I can get the VCR working I’m gonna watch a movie!