In which we say good morning to the peacock.
Me: (going out to start the jeep) Well hello there and good morning, peacock!
Him: *preen*
Me: Would you like some kibbles, then?
Him: *cluck-cluck*
Me: Hold on a sec. (goes inside, grabs a handful of dog food, goes outside and scatters it on the ground)
Him: *preen*
Me: Your new tail looks lovely, by the way. Nice work growing that, especially during the winter!
Him: (eating)
Me: Okay then, have a nice day!
= = =
1. Peacocks love to eat dog kibbles.
2. They also shed out — er, moult — their entire tail every fall, and grow a new one for the following spring. The average peacock sports about 150 “eyed” feathers in his plumage.
3. I got a catalog in the mail recently in which bouquets of peacock feathers were selling for $1.25 per feather.
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Need a second job? 150 * $1.25 = $187.5. Start breeding peacocks and selling their feathers to really large drag queens. They’d need at least 50 a piece.
Did you go to the zoo in the morning? I mean there are peacocks naturally outside of the house or something? They do scare me for some reason…
There’s a peacock naturally outside our house in the morning because he lives there. (They’re not, like, indiginous to Iowa or anything.) At one point we had six peafowl, but he’s the only one left. He spends the vast majority of his time up at the neighboring farm, flirting with their turkey. We’ve been meaning to buy peahens and get a flock going again for, like, three years.
If I were you I would make a skirt of peacock feathers and wear it to work with a corset and wicked witch boots. Just kidding. Glad to see you’re back!
I would! Except I don’t have a corset. Or boots. -m
Actually, the drag queen idea sounds quite fantastic. I think there could be a fairly impressive income source in there.
I love your cock.
I know you do, baby. -m
They also scream like a woman being killed. First time I heard one, I really was trying to find the damsel in distress.
I think it depends on the fowl. Ours like to talk a little at sunset, but they’ve never been the problems some folks have mentioned. -m