In which my back hurts and I’m damned grumpy.
Bread woke me up earlier than necessary this morning, like he always does.
He probably used to wake me up early in an effort to share his love and tenderness with me, but now — since I’ve been asking him to give it a rest already for like seven years and he hasn’t — I have to assume he does it just to be a dick.
Anyway, in an effort to get the fuck away from him and stay asleep this morning, I pulled a muscle in my back really quite painfully — that was my first real conscious experience today: brief but searing pain! I was bound in the bedding at the very edge of the bed, and he was hemming me in and poking at me and breathing my air and in general having absolutely no respect for my desire to be asleep until the fucking alarm went off for work, and when I moved (okay, it was more like “when I twitched spastically”) I pulled something and it hurts and now I’m all Quasimodo and crooked and I’ll have to force myself to do some yoga when I get home even though all I really wanna do is take a pain killer and bitch about it.
Oh, okay, yes, I know, I know. When he wakes me up for l’amore sessuale he’s probably not actually thinking, “Gee, this is the 43rd morning in a row I’ve woken her up before dawn and boy will she be pissed,” but in actual fact is probably thinking something more like, “Maybe today I’ll get lucky!”
But I don’t care. I’m still pissed off, and he’s so not gonna get laid before noon ever again.
If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing it!
hmm.. I’m really getting tired of talking about our similarities, people are going to think i’m making this shit up but… I have a lower back problem that Oscar sometimes aggravates with his “let me tickle him in bed because I find it sexually arousing even though I know it pisses the hell out of me” and yeah.. uff.. the only thing I”ve consistently found that helps is yoga.
FUCK TICKLING! Jeezus! Bread claims he’s ticklish but I’ve never been able to prove it. (He finally admitted a couple years ago that only his mom can tickle him. Bah.)
I couldn’t laugh more… sorry you had to have a muscle pain but it was hilarious post to me. Especially, your hubby pocking at you part. 🙂
Morning sex is hot so you might be interested in doing it every once in a while. really. I miss that.
[…] n’t had any problems since, and now my skin is peeling a little bit. I didn’t hold out long: Bread got laid this morning. (Which didn’t keep him from nagging me for more the whole rest […]
Yoga is good, but I am such a fan of painkillers! I say, you wake him up next time.
In agreement with Lynn. Pick a really annoying or inconvient time to wake him up and start asking for “it.”